Regrets,but what can i do?

What am i gonna do?
I'm lost now,in th dark,alone.

My grandma had a stroke last night.
Thou' it's mild,but seeing her suffer realy pains my heart.
I swear i don't know what to do.
Helpless was one thing i could only use to describe my feelings ytd.
If only i was a doctor,she could entrust me to cure her.

We called for th ambulance to come,sending her there.
She was in a semi-conscious state.
Cos' she's stubborn and don't like seeing docs so she refused to go to th hosp.
She was really suffering.
I'm really useless.
She loves me th most yet i can only stand there,controlling my tears and do nothing.
Now,th only thing i wish for is that she will be okay.
Everyone,please help me pray for her okay?
I reallyreally hope she will be fine.
I love her very much and want th best for her.

She wants me to continue working hard and yes i will.
No more fooling around,what's important now is to make her happy.

I'm so sorry,i shouldn't have said you were naggy and stuff.
Nothing can explain how remorseful i am right now.

Thank you for consoling me ytd night and also to mo and ming for their concern.

Sorry,
charmaine.

我-爱-你! :B

Featuring this century's most unglam picture*above* :B

Somehow,i super hearts this picture:D

Ling and me(:

Angmokio-Bishan-Orchard-Bugis.
4 places in a day and shopping makes my leg ache alotalot okay!
Hahaha.
Bought a satin dress?
tsk,not bad uh charmaine.
I told myself to control all temptations to buy clothes/dresses today but in th end i got one still.
Sigh,that's meeeee._.

Life's alright.
I've decided to hold on to pure science for th last time and i'm gonna relaly work hard for it.
But if i still fail,i'll drop aft mye.

Poly/Jc;see first?

I hate you,sorry,you aren't to be blame.
Just blame myself for seeing you as my true good friend that will care for me whenever i need you.
I'm wrong once again,totally wrongg.
Nevermind,i would just ignore you w your attitude currently.



--
Having you,is enough(:
<3

C.

Scored badly for CT.
ALL SUBJECTS mind you! D:

Nevermind,i wanna score all 'A's for my Mye,Prelims and esp 'O's!
Jiayou charmaine:)
You can do it.

Skipping schl on friday and going to find Mr cheng for tuition?
Ohgawd.by then i don't know how many tuitions i'm having alrdy.
I better score well th next time.

Godblessme;
ciao.

Persevere.

I'm determined NOT to drop my pure sciences,yes!
:D

thanks god for th decision.

There's nothing better.

Took this quiz link from Mo's blog as i was bored,found certain things on my personality quite true.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

The Real You

Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.
6. You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

---

Thanks Daddy for getting me my LV bag!
ilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! ^^
<3

Life's getting good,w everything starting to go in place(:
I wish this would all last well.

Okay,i'll update again tmr.
Adios.

Promise.

Learning journey ytd was boring.
But th bus ride was okay cos' i was listening to songs and camwhoring around w D.chr and my biatch!
(:

After LJ,went back to schl to look for Mo and Ming.
We went to Yishun;Northpoint.
Wanted to catch Suspect X but because of th timings,i couldn't make it so we just went to eat.
Lunched@Xin wang hong kong cafe.
3 of us ate and th total cost was $50.
Just a free simple orders okay.

We talked alot there,about life,studies and stuff.
Thanks to them,i got alot more better (:
Heart-to-heart talks really cures.

So we walked around th oh-so-small shopping centre and slacked ard.

Went back to cwp to meet Diana w Mo.

Diana was so mad ytd can?
Kept disturbing me when i was having a super going-to-kill me headache.

Slept before 9.20 ytd.
Early right?
Woke up at 7+ this morning.
Th first thing i did was rushing to practise my piano.
Guess i really gotta change and start working on everything.
Monday you will see a different me.
Even from appearance :]

Ciao!

On th verge of collapsing.

Have you ever had a feeling someone betrayed you in someway?
I know i shouldn't get pissed for that luh,but..it's uncontrollable.

I broke out today.
I swear i tried to control it as hard as i could but,my results were just a pile of fuck shit! _|_
Physics 12/40.
I'm being really straight here now.
See,i was once doing well;as least much better than now.
And now,here i am,into dire straits.
Guess th feeling?
It sucks ttm i tell you.
Like knifes piercing throu' your heart.

I don't wanna dissapoint my family esp my dearest grandma.
But how?
Guess i shouldn't even be into this realistic world to suffer.

Only today,i knew a realistic fact about this world.
You are nice and caring to other people but when you are really not doing well,there's no one really there to help me.
I have great friends thou',who are really there for me.
But still,life suck's.
I hate you somehow because of today.
It's not your fault but i can't control it,i'm sorry.

Whose truthful to me whose not?
I really can't see.
I only can see th surface.
To a stupid person like me,those who treat me well are nice.
And i am totally wrong about it.

Yingling and vinesh scolded me awake today.
Ms tan too.
I cried.
I totally fell to th bottom of th cliff.
And you,i reallyreally need to talk to you.
I'm finding a good chance okay?
Then i'll contact you.
Sorry,i guess i'm really getting dependent on you alrdy.
):

I should change,i wanna be th Charmaine last year.
Who is this freaking girl now?
I myself don't even know her alrdy.
WO HEN XIANG SI.
There's no point seriously of me living on anymore.
Life is an empty shell to me,it brings me no happiness.
If god is kind enough,send me away.
I'm a girl no one notices,no one cares and i fckin' hate my life now okay.
FUCK THIS LIFE AND FUCK THIS SHITS!

No words can describe my feelings right now.
I need heart-to-heart talks alotalotalot now D:

I'm left w nothing.

Hey guys.
CT is over,like finally?
I've been sleeping at 1+ going 2 for th past 2 nights and i feel as if my body is breaking apart when i wake up in th morning D:

I hereby announce i flunk my Purephysics/chem papers:/
Shit it.
I wanna drop la,but i'm worried i'll regret.

E-maths:39/50?
Not satisfied and i swear i'm so gonna chiong for my 'O's alrdy (:
If not i'll definitely be th one crying in th hall when i get my results next year.
I got my aims sort out and so i'm gonna work for it.

I'm currently in love w Neyo's mad*my blogsong*.
Nice luh ! ^^
Somehow,i love Neyo's songs.
They have feelings,get it?
Like,his voice is superb-ly fabulous.
Haha,okay,i wanna go do other stuffs.
Ciao!

ily boy.

So tmr's common test.
I guess i'm 75-85% ready alrdy but still nervous somehow.

Tuition was okay luh.
With both of them around.
But somehow,eugene isn't that bad luh.
He let's me hit him,plays around and sends me songs.
Haha,tuition isn't that boring w them around but still,time passes slow-.-
3hrs,dead shittt!

Dear 'O's,pass faster la pls.
I wanna work asap!
._.

Good luck for your CT everyone from evg.

Ciao.